Have you ever sat in a restaurant trying to decide what to eat, going back and forth between two options over and over again?
Have you ever had a tug of war in your head about whether to buy that dress, invest in that course, apply for that job, stay in or go out?
Have you ever felt paralyzed, stuck and frustrated by your inability to make a decision?
Yeah, me too.
We are facing a multitude of decisions every single day, from what to wear, over what to eat for breakfast, to what school to go to, what job to apply for or whether to get married. A lot of these decisions happen automatically, otherwise we’d never get anything done! So we eat what we always eat for breakfast, take the same route to work every day and put on our favorite jeans at least once a week. Because we know these things work for us, we don’t have to think about these decisions, we just go with the flow. What if we could find the same ease and assertiveness in making all of life’s decisions, no matter how big or small?
At the end of the day, it all boils down to two general choices that apply for every situation imaginable: Love or fear.
Now I’m not talking choosing pizza and ice cream for dinner every night because you just love pizza and ice cream. And I’m not talking going on a shopping spree every weekend and spending more money than you can afford to because you just love shopping so much. This type of love is ego-based: It’s conditional. It blindly follows every impulsive desire we have. It’s the same type of love that says “I need you to love me because deep down I don’t love myself”. It’s demanding, and it’s playing small.
No, I’m talking about unconditional, divine, all-encompassing Love here: That expansive, wise, patient and universal feeling of compassion that only knows of one-ness, and therefore has never even heard of concepts such as selfishness or destructiveness. That smiling, unlimited observer that watches over every single one of us.
And it doesn’t only watch over all of us, it actually lives in all of our hearts. Do you know what I’m talking about? 😃
So you may be wondering, what the heck does this have to do with decision making?
Every time you’re going back and forth between two options, ask yourself: What would Love do? Which of these options make my soul sing and my heart open up? Which decision makes me feel expansive and whole? And which option makes me feel small, disconnected and inflated?
Sometimes the option that makes our heart sing is still scary, especially when it comes to big life decisions. It still makes us feel nervous. Like taking that leap of faith to quit the safe 9-5 and start your own business.
Or getting married even though you always said you’d never do that. Or having children. The unknown is always scary. Change is always frightening. But whenever you feel this way, check in with your inner observer:
Is he or she smiling, or does he or she shake his or her head?
If they’re smiling, know that you will receive everything you need in order to follow the path of your heart, even if it seems scary at first. If he or she is shaking his or her head…gracefully decline.
Now you’re probably wondering what this deep woo woo talk has to do with you trying to choose what’s for lunch. Is God really gonna come down and decide for you if you should have the meat loaf or the chicken sandwich?
Probably not. But what does the wise, kind observer in you do when you’re facing such a small, yet nonetheless difficult decision? He/she smiles, and maybe even giggles a little. Because in a case like that, there are no wrong decisions! You’re not gonna die if you choose the blue shirt over the red one. It’s our ego mind pressuring us to make the perfect decision that causes us paralyzing fear, even in seemingly meaningless situations. We fear the disapproval of others, or any type of discomfort in making the wrong decision.
But once we step into the vibration of Love, the pressure is off and we are free to choose and go for what we really want. We know that we are lovable and acceptable no matter what we choose, and we know that we are going to be alright either way. Love opens up space to play, stretch ourselves, try something new or stick with what’s familiar – it gets us unstuck, out of our heads and back into the flow of the universe.
Now to go back to the initial dilemma of pizza and ice cream vs. steak and salad: Love will choose whatever is best for you, whatever makes you feel good, energized, and healthy. Fear will choose whatever is convenient and simple, whatever we think we should choose in order to gain approval and be a good girl or a good boy. In some cases that may be the pizza and ice cream (for example when you’re watching a movie with friends and don’t want to be a party pooper), in other cases this may be the steak and salad (for instance when you’re hanging out with a bunch of marathon running paleo geeks). Making your decisions from a heartfelt place takes the outer approval out of the equation and quiets the voice of the ego mind, so you can really tap into and listen to your own inner wisdom. So, even though a salad is generally deemed healthier than pizza, sometimes you might need some indulgence and letting loose in order to feel good – and then that’s what Love is going to choose for you. It’s not so much about the actual decision; it’s about the underlying vibration.
Choosing out of fear means coming from a place of lack, emptiness, insecurity and helplessness.
Choosing out of Love means coming from a place of having, wholeness, strength, power and wisdom.
So next time you’re about to make a decision, take a moment to connect with Love: Put your hands on your heart, take a deep breath, close your eyes, and ask yourself : What would Love do? What would fear do?
And the decision will be crystal clear.
In love, wisdom and joy,
*This post was first published on http://www.energiesinmotion.com on Oct. 3rd, 2016