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I still remember the day of my first encounter with energy healing like it was yesterday: It was the fall of 2007, I was 16 years old and had just lost my virginity to a random (but charming and good looking!) Australian guy at a Metal Festival in Germany. I was heartbroken. I realized that I was aching for love – so much so that I gave my body to the first man who told me I looked beautiful and showered me with hugs and kisses, knowing that I would most likely never see this person again.

At this time, I was taking driving lessons (In Germany, you have to take a certain amount of lessons with a driving teacher before you are admitted to a driving test). My driving teacher happened to be a spiritual healer. I was one of the last driving students he had before making energy healing his full-time career. He had told me a few things about God and had asked a few of those open-ended, life-changing questions. One of them was “Are you happy with your life?”, to which my teenage self could only reply: “I am content”. Shoulders shrugging.

After coming home from that festival and being completely and utterly heartbroken, I stepped into the driving teacher’s car one morning for a lesson before school. When he asked me how I was doing, I broke down and started to cry. Under tears, I told him that I needed help. I was so unhappy. I couldn’t bear the pain and darkness in me anymore. I couldn’t bear the feeling of my empty, dead heart anymore. So he told me he’d pick me up after school to do a healing on me. I just had to ask him for help. And I did.

I didn’t believe in God at that time. In fact, the thought of a higher power seemed silly to me and I despised religion. So when we drove to a little chapel after school I was very much in doubt. What the heck was I doing? What was going to happen to me? What would he do to me? A “healing”? How could this work if I didn’t believe in it? I had never felt comfortable in churches, so I was feeling very, well, uncomfortable, and definitely nervous. But something inside of me said: “Fuck it. Let’s just see what happens. It can’t get worse than it is now. Whatever.”

We sat down on a bench in front of the altar, golden candlelight filling the chapel. My driving teacher sat next to me. “I’m going to pull the darkness out of your heart and plant a seed of light in it.” My mind said something like “Yeah, right.” And yet, I let it happen. He put a hand on my heart and closed his eyes. All of a sudden, I felt all the darkness being sucked out of my heart, just like he had said! Instantly, my heart filled up with golden light, endless warmth and pure love. It was an incredible feeling. I couldn’t believe that this was possible. It was astounding, awe-inspiring. If it worked on a doubt-filled atheist like me, it had to be real! I decided then and there that I didn’t want to live in a world without God anymore.

I started a daily spiritual practice. It was so incredibly comforting to know that I wasn’t alone, that there really was something like God, and that it was so powerful it could heal my heart in an instant. For about a year, I felt in complete alignment with the love and light within me. I understood that God was simply pure light and love. Slowly I started buying colorful clothing again, brightening up my completely black closet. I wanted to make it my mission to spread light and love in the world.

Then life happened: Between my first boyfriend and my first burnout I lost some of the connection. Life got difficult. I didn’t know what to do after school, what career to choose, what city to live in, what school to go to. I had a lot of anxiety, emotional stress, and a lot of migraines. Sometimes I would feel the divine love within me, oftentimes I couldn’t find it, no matter how hard I tried. My healing journey that had started with such a big surge of love and light wasn’t as straight forward as expected. I tried a school for speech therapists, played with the idea of making music my profession, I tried Yoga and many different diets. I fell in love with an American and moved to California after 2 years of a long-distance relationship.

As grateful and happy as I was to have married the man of my dreams, I still didn’t know what to do with my life. I made many mistakes. I got hurt, and I hurt the ones I loved most in my life. I lost myself completely, then found myself again, several times. I overthought life. I thought I’d never figure it out. Finally, I found coaching and energy healing, and a whole new world opened up to me. So new and exciting, the missing piece…and yet so familiar! Full circle back to that day in the chapel as a 16-year old: It all starts with energy. Heal your energy, heal your life. This is my world: A world of vibrant lights, vivid imagination, deep emotions, powerful words, intuition, God and the Universe. And yet, there is more: I also had to find real, practical tools to thrive (and not just survive!) in the world. That’s where coaching comes in: It allows me to combine my need to explore the rich, beautiful and subtle world of energy, while giving me the structure and tools I need in everyday life. And this is exactly what I want to share with you.

9 years after my first spiritual encounter, I have finally found a way to live my mission; to spread love and light in the world – and to do it MY WAY.

Love, Wisdom and Joy

Paula

*This post was first published on http://www.energiesinmotion.com on June 15th, 2016