appropriate-love-resized

Most of us are blessed with at least a handful of amazing friends. Those that we know will always have our backs, support us, and love us just for who we are. And we love them exactly for who they are. This two-sided appreciation and acceptance is what makes a wonderful, fulfilling relationship.

As small children, we are often friends with everybody around us.

The neighbor’s kids, the kindergarten buddies, the classmates. That’s because we’re not afraid to just be who we are. We don’t know about clichés and stereotypes yet, about judgement and separation. We’re just living our lives moment to moment, bubbling merrily along.

The older we get, the more mixed messages we receive through family members, friends, and the media. All of a sudden certain behaviors might only be acceptable in certain situations, we have to play different roles for different people, give in to peer pressure, fulfill expectations, look and act a certain way…it’s easy to lose ourselves, and it seems we spend a good portion of our teenage years and twenties trying to find our way back home. In fact, we can spend the rest of our lives continually chipping away at anything that’s inauthentic and trying to live life in full alignment with our innermost truth.

Sometimes the friends we made as children stay with us for a lifetime, even when we go through big life changes; they know that at the core, we’re still the same. We’re still that fun, quirky, lovable kid we grew up as. We’re just as wise and kind as we were when we first entered this world. That’s because our soul always stays the same; it’s the part of us that never changes and that defines who we are deep inside.

Some of our friends only stay with us for a certain period of our lives, and that’s okay, too.

They may resonate with where we’re at in a particular time rather than with the unchangeable, everlasting truth of our soul. These may be your “fair-weather friends”, acquaintances and distant relatives. There’s a connection on some level, perhaps over a certain interest or hobby, being coworkers or neighbors, but nothing that goes beyond a certain point of intimacy.

Which is totally fine. We don’t have to be best friends with everybody we come across, and I don’t think we actually have the capacity to do so (I’m speaking from the viewpoint of an introvert here, perhaps extroverts have a different opinion ;)). But still, it is all too human to have that need for deep, real, authentic connections – especially in a time when a lot of relationships are based on Facebook messages, texting, emails and shared posts rather than actual face-to-face interaction.

There are two ways to create deeper connections in your life: By deepening the relationships you already have, or by creating new ones.

Let’s take a quick peak at both options:

In order to deepen the connections you already have, you need to do two things:

  1. Be yourself
  2. Be present

Sounds simple, right? Alas, simple doesn’t always mean easy

Being yourself and showing up authentically requires you to be 100% accepting and loving of yourself. It means letting go of the need to please everyone and put on a mask for different occasions and different people. Which is an ongoing learning process for most of us! And it doesn’t mean blurting out whatever you want, being rude or selfish or inconsiderate either. Your Truth is pure love and compassion – and these qualities are NEVER inappropriate 🙂

Being present means being grounded and centered in our bodies, our souls and the present moment. It means looking the person we are talking to straight in the eye, making a heart-to-heart and soul-to-soul connection without even saying a word. We do so through the power of intention, being in tune with our own soul at all times and realizing that on a soul level, we are all one.

Our physical bodies are merely a momentary expression of different aspects of the divine. There’s no deeper connection than actual oneness! So even when someone pushes your buttons on a physical level, know that your two souls have come from the same source. Our physical self may get irritated, impatient or judgemental – but our Higher Self will keep smiling with kindness and understanding. Keeping that in mind is a great way to create a deep, meaningful connection with anyone – even when you are not verbally sharing everything that’s on your mind!

Let’s take a look at option no. 2: Creating new meaningful relationships.

Perhaps you are hesitant of connecting with just anyone on a soul level and are quite satisfied having more superficial relationships with acquaintances. That’s totally fine, too! But in that case it’s really important to find your tribe, to find people who you recognize on a soul level, who you feel comfortable opening up to and are willing to share pretty much anything with.

How do you find those people? By

  1. Being yourself
  2. Being present
  3. Putting yourself out there

There’s no way around it: If you want to make new best friends who totally get you, you have to go where these people hang out. It may be easier to connect with these people than with the grocery store clerk, your boss or your cousin twice removed – but they may be harder to find.

You are free to choose. And being true to your Self enables you to stand your ground and make an empowered decision.

You are free to choose whom you share yourself with, and to which degree. You are free to choose if you want to deepen your connections to the people already in your life, or if you want to establish new meaningful relationships. Just make sure you have those deep, lasting, fulfilling connections – they’re as essential to being happy and healthy as eating well, breathing deeply and getting enough sleep.

Much love and happy connecting! ❤

Paula

PS: Learn more about how to be yourself, be present, focused and clear on what you want in my Ebook From Overwhelm To Inner Peace. It’s totally free of charge, so why not check it out by clicking on this link?