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I’ve been loving creating my (almost daily) videos and I’ve gotten really good feedback, (thank you all!! :)) – but today I need to write.

Yesterday I was talking about the full moon and how the week leading up to it is a time to go inwards, retreat and let go. Β Well, aside from the stirred up moon-related emotions, I am letting go of one huge thing right now: And that’s caffeine.

I’m gonna be really vulnerable and totally honest here: This is the approximately 50th time that I’m reducing my caffeine intake because it has gotten out of hand again. But this time is different: This time I prepared my body with the Whole30 program, totally cleaning up my diet – and this time I’m ready to ditch the stuff for good.

’cause I’m a certifiable caffeine junkie.

I know it’s a drug that’s socially acceptable, and I know many people who have their cup of coffee in the morning and are fine. So that’s okay! I really wish I was like that…but alas, I can never stick to “just one cup a day”. No matter if it’s coffee or tea, the highs and lows, the “borrowed” energy, it all just burns me out. I get addicted to the stuff almost instantly. And pretty soon that one cup a day turns into “one cup in the morning plus 2 cups of tea in the afternoon” and so on and so on…

So I need to stop. And I’ve known for a few years now that this is not my best habit – but the withdrawal symptoms have always kept me from really following through. I’d be good and have only small amounts of tea for a few days, and then I would get this horrible migraine and get really tired, and so I would turn back to coffee as a “headache medicine” – and the cycle would start all over again.

But, the excuses are starting to dwindle: My diet is super clean otherwise, and I’m really happy with it – but I still break out on my face whenever I have coffee, even decaf; it’s ridiculously clear now where this acne comes from. You could even say that it’s right in my face, if you’ll excuse the pun πŸ˜‰

My husband is already pretty much completely off caffeine – and he’s feeling great! He still has the same amount of energy as before, just more balanced. So I KNOW it’s possible, and I don’t have the excuse anymore of “Well, he made coffee in the morning and it smelled so good I couldn’t help myself…”

I think this a huge part of the problem is that I don’t trust my body to function properly and get done what needs to get done without caffeine. But, I see more and more examples of people who are doing amazing without caffeine – some of these are the healthiest people I know, the most energized, the most successful and the most compassionate.

So. I. WILL. GET. THERE.

I’ve tried all the tricks to ditch caffeine: Weaning off slowly, quitting cold turkey, taking ginseng supplements, measuring my caffeine intake in milligrams and reducing it slowly. I’ve tried prayer, visualizations, meditation, taking aspirin and drinking tons of water. And I thought after the Whole30 quitting caffeine would be easy – well, it’s not. So I’ve come to a point where I’m realizing that I just have to get through the headaches and the tiredness. There’s just no way around it…

Which brings me to the actual topic of this post (finally! lol): How can we acknowledge our physical sensations and emotions without being super attached to them? Because that’s the whole problem: It’s not the sensations themselves, it’s how we get attached to them, how we put meaning on them, tell a story about them, react to them in hardwired patterns that completely forego the conscious mind. Β It’s when we give our power away to the situation, throwing our hands up and saying “I can’t deal with this, f**k it, I’m just gonna do X. Whatever.”

And then we sabotage all our good intentions, all our progress so far, all our built up momentum.

I’ve been working a lot with my emotions, and I feel like I’m getting better at observing them, acknowledging them and processing them without getting drawn into a downward spiral of darkness and messiness…trust me, it can get really messy when you allow your feelings to run the show.

Or your headaches or tiredness for that matter. Why am I allowing these physical sensations to run the show? To ruin my plans to quit caffeine, even though I KNOW I will feel so much better without it? Sure, the withdrawal symptoms are strong, intense even, and highly uncomfortable. But strong enough to throw my arms up and say “F**k it!”?

Not this time. Instead of focusing on the painful journey to caffeine freedom, I’m focusing on the goal, the result: How amazing it will be to be free from the drug. To trust my own natural energy reserves again. To completely balance my hormones and my mood and my energy levels. Ahh…I can almost feel it πŸ˜‰

So keep your eyes on the ball. Focus on the bigger goal. Never lose sight of the result you’re looking for. There’s nothing that gives you as much energy as that. As much focus. As much courage. It’s almost as if you’re looking at yourself from a higher view point, from your Higher Self, from your amazing, accomplished future you.

And now get this: That future you is already inside of you.Β The potential is already there. You have the desire to accomplish something, so you have the potential. It’s as simple as that. And in the ocean of oneness that is the Universe, time and space are all connected. You are all your ages at all times. Including bad-ass future you.

By focusing on the goal, you connect to this powerful version of yourself. You start to act as if you were already her or him…and that’s how you blast through excuses, discomfort and resistant patterns. And: Know that the more resistance you encounter, the bigger the treasure awaiting you on the other side.

So now when I get a migraine I say: “Wow, I really am THAT powerful!”.

And when I feel super tired and spacey, I tell myself: “This will all be gone when the caffeine is out of my system. Screw you caffeine. I don’t need you.”

And this might be the most powerful realization of all: I don’t need this.

I’m free to choose.

I can’t wait! I know it’ll take a couple weeks. But I will get there, and it will be a super sweet reunion with my natural energy reserves.

Keep your eye on the ball! Focus on the goal.

How do you stay focused through uncomfortable emotions and sensations? Have you ever tried to quit an addictive behavior, no matter if it’s food, alcohol, caffeine, shopping or excessive worrying – and how did you do it?

*taking a sip of my Dandy Blend*

Much love!

Paula